Toy boxes for big girls

When we were kids, we were taught to play nice with our toys and take care of them. Only then would they give us endless pleasure. [Or something along those lines, but I'm getting ahead of myself.] Okay, so maybe the Holly Hobbie playhouse and Spirograph didn't get the respect due them, but the lesson still holds true.

Do you have a "toy box" for all your adult toys? A bag, drawer, or chest filled with a variety of sexy products designed specifically to enhance yours and your lover's pleasure? What kinds of things does it contain? Here are just a few of the basics that no toy box should be without.

• Quality vibrator.

Not necessarily a vibrating dildo, but something that can be settled against your clit during intercourse. Let's be honest, even the most enthusiastic lover's fingers can get tired. And oral -- while absolutely wonderful -- isn't possible during intercourse ... unless, of course, you're in the enviable position of being part of a threesome. But then that's a topic for another blog entirely. *grin*

• Dildos

Yes, that's plural. You need more than one. Why? you ask. Because you do. Variety is the spice of life ... and sex.

• Lubricants

Skin to skin (or condom) friction is definitely a mood killer. There's no reason to be frustrated, when the solution is such a simple fix. JO Brand is a personal favorite, but whatever you choose, I recommend having two types readily available.

Silicone-based lubricants are a great all-purpose lube, whether easing the way for vaginal sex or letting your fingers do the walking and giving him a hand job that will short circuit his brain. (The JO Brand also is fragrance-free and relatively taste-free, in case you're interested in giving more than a handjob. *wink* )

Water-based lubes are for use with silicone toys. (Silicone-based lubricants tend to break down the material of silicone toys. This can get expensive, because toys aren't cheap. S+S=Super Sad.) Thicker water-based lubricants are also great when engaging in any type of anal play, as they tend to stay in place longer for the typically slower pace of this activity.

Try different brands, types, flavors ... the list is endless. Lubricant can make or break a mind-numbing sexual experience. Experiment and find the ones that work best for you and your partner.

• Other invaluable tools

First, an open mind ... there's absolutely nothing wrong with giving and receiving pleasure in all its various forms when the parties involved are willing. Another thing is your voice ... talk to your lover while having sex. It may surprise you how much this turns both of you on. And lastly, a sense of adventure ... above all else, sex should be fun!

Remember to clean your toys after each use and store them properly for the next time. Keep your toy box neat and handy for that next "play date" with your lover, or even on your own. There's nothing wrong with "playing quietly by [with] yourself."