Conspiracy

Some days you just need a nice quickie in the afternoon ... but the world (or your household) seems to be conspiring against any such fun. *sigh*

Hope your own "Hump Day" was a satisfying one.

Ass kicking

Unless you're part of a writing team, putting words to paper is, for the most part, a solitary endeavor and sometimes one that just ain't workin'. The Muse left the building. The train of thought derailed into the Nothing. Characters stand around in the corners of your mind shuffling their feet, flipping you the bird, and calling you a fucking loser. [nodding] Yep, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

It's times like these that I rely on my comrades in ink. Sometimes it's enough just to wander to their blogs, see what's going on. Other times a more immediate response is needed, so a WiD (Writer in Distress) text, email, or phone call goes out. Two of my regular Keepers of the Sanity Keys are Jasmine Haynes and VJ Summers. I admit wholeheartedly that they have dragged me from the very edge on many occasions. It was not a pretty sight. Thank you so much! *mwah* I never underestimate the importance of a venting session.

There are times though when venting just isn't going to do it. Nope, some days call for more drastic measures to be taken. Those times call for a good old-fashioned, honest to god ass-whooping. Now I'm not talking about a little slap on the hand or even a firm twisting of the ear to drag your wayward characters back into the thick of things. No, no, no, my friend. I'm talking about throwing them out through the double-pane window into the backyard and kicking the living hell out of the them. I'll admit, these are probably not scenes that will ever cross an editor's desktop. That's okay. Sometimes just having a few characters bloodied and beaten for a page is all it takes to carry on. 

[looking around]

You seen my baseball bat?

(And for the record, a search of "sexy baseball guy" garners an incredibly fucked up collection of photos that I'll probably never be able to bleach from my brain. And "bloody baseball bat" offered up just as many, though they were disturbing for reasons that should have kept me from doing the damn search in the first place.)

The simply delectable penis

[laughing out loud] Now that I have your attention ...

No, this isn't an instruction guide for performing fellatio, though that sounds like a fun idea, too. Maybe a future blog topic. Instead this will be my little adventure in the art of baking a penis cupcake ... or as they became known at the Pure Romance party the other night: cockcakes!

It goes without saying that these parties are just plain naughty fun! Even if you don't buy anything, they are a feast for the senses. Just as a wandering stroll through the local Lover's Lane is. My hubby and I are frequent flyers at ours. [wink]

Which is where I purchased the penis-shaped cake pans. Figured two 6-packs would do the trick and that was perfect.

Hmmm, what flavor cake to use? I went with the Betty Crocker Supermoist Carrot Cake mix ... seemed appropriate for this project, as did the Betty Crocker Home-Style Cream Cheese frosting. [eyebrows waggling]

I found that by alternating the positions of the penis pans I could fit all twelve onto the cookie sheet.

Filling the pans with the cake mix was basically a guessing game and I must say that a little goes a long way. The batter did seem to have tendency to rush toward the tip end! Made me wonder if this was a case of art imitating life?

They baked well within the recommended time suggested for cupcakes, which was 17-22 minutes. I started poking at the little peckers with a toothpick at about 19 minutes though, just because it was fun. [grin]

The foil pan (liberally lubed up with Pam cooking spray) made ejaculating -- er, ejecting them from the pans quite easy. They just kind of fell out when they were done.

The whole gang hung out for a while.

Mmmmm ... the guys looking downright delicious in their finest!  

Simply open wide and savor every mouthwatering inch -- er, bite! This is EXACTLY how to eat a penis!!

Have you ever had an occasion that called for some naughty baking?

Hearts A Plenty

Holy moley! It's been nearly three weeks since my last post! I'm not as good at the blog thing as I'd like to be, but I'm determined to try harder.

I'm currently working on a holiday novella for Thanksgiving called Hearts A Plenty. It will revolve around Jared, Claire, and Mark ... someone who complicates the situation a bit. [rubbing hands together]

In my search for a suitable photo to depict my menage story, I stumbled across a photo by Gary Durington that was more lighthearted ... but still completely fun and appropriate.